Radical Self-Love as Rebellion: Navigating Disordered Eating in the LGBTQ2+ Community
Last month I was graciously approached to participate in a Recovery Talk with the Looking Glass Foundation for Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Eating Disorders and disordered eating behaviors are topics that touch closely to my heart. As someone who has personal experience with disordered eating as well as who has seen the dangerous impacts of eating disorders first hand, I was honoured when given the opportunity to share the research and open up dialogue to hard topics.
Throughout this writing I will be speaking to the issues that the LGBTQ2+ community faces relating to eating disorders with a highlight on considerations for trans and Gender Diverse folks.
Research shows that members of the LGBTQ community are particularly likely to experience eating disorders and disordered eating behaviors. With Trans individuals engaging in weight control behaviors more frequently than cisgender adults.
Why is this the case?
Systemic violence can impact how queer and trans folks perceive and witness their own bodies. In the Western culture, in which I am writing about this, we are saturated in extremely gendered beauty standards based in rigid binaries - strict rules dictating what men and women are “supposed to” look like. Eating disorders and struggles with body image are often a symptom of the ongoing trauma associated with living in a cissexist, patriarchal, and queer hostile society.
In my practice, I see the direct impacts of navigating these environments: depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and perfectionist tendencies at an all-time high. This intensifies the deep need to find a sense of safety, comfort, and control in an unaccepting world.
The Trap of the “New Binary”
You might argue that our culture is expanding, leaning into inclusivity, and bringing androgyny into the mainstream. But I challenge you to pause for a moment and picture an "androgynous" person.
What image comes to mind? What does this person look like? Where does this idea come from?
When I researched image results for androgynous body types, photo after photo displayed the exact same aesthetic: a slender person with a small frame, short hair, wearing oversized clothing or a suit. If this is the primary narrative we absorb about what it means to be androgynous, where does that leave everyone who does not fit into yet another rigid binary box?
Intersectionality and identity
Within each of us are a whole rainbow of identities and stories. Each one of our identities, comes with a whole history of expectations, stereotypes and biases - influenced by our families, our friends, from cultural history and from society at large. Implicit and explicit messaging of what it means to be the “right kind” of person is constantly broadcast through media structures. Overtime, these messages become deeply internalized until they feel like “just the way things are”. Gender identity, sexual orientation, and race/ethnicity all uniquely contribute to the pressure to appear a certain way.
We can begin breaking down these internalized stereotypes by remaining curious about our own experiences and recognizing where these pressures originate. We reclaim our uniqueness by taking ownership of our own stories and living our truth.
Consider reflecting on these questions:
What are some of the intersecting parts of your identity?
Which parts of your identity are most important to you?
Which part of your identity do you think people first notice about you?
What parts of other people’s identities do you notice first?
A Financial Pressure to Conform
According to market research, the Beauty and Personal Care market generates over $500 billion annually in the US alone. In a capitalist, misogynistic, cis-heteronormative society, we are not only encouraged to change our hair color, skin tone, or wardrobe—we are pressured to shrink our bodies, our voices, and our presence.
When we are unable to meet these impossible standards, we are conditioned to hide or disconnect from parts of ourselves. In a culture that insists you are the problem—and then sells you the solution—I want to offer a gentle reminder: The problem is not you. The problem is a culture shaped by misogyny, ageism, fatphobia, transphobia, and homophobia.
Self-Love as an Act of Rebellion
Crucial protective factors decrease the risks of disordered eating for trans or gender diverse folks; such as access to gender affirming medical care or caring, reliable and accepting relationships. However, I want to focus on one of the protective factors that I utilize the most in my practice; Sonya Renee Taylor said it best, Radical Self-Love.
(Note *** body acceptance or even body neutrality does not have to be the ultimate goal – especially if you live in a body that does not represent who you are.)
Research shows that cultivating self-love aids in emotion regulation and reduces harsh self-judgement. Individuals with higher levels of self-love experience less pressure to conform to thinness ideals, particularly those driven by media exposure.
10 Practices for Cultivating Self-Love
Adapted from an insightful article by Shannon Weber on The Body Is Not an Apology, here are ten ways to practice radical self-love in daily life:
"Self-love is crucial for surviving and thriving in an oppressive society hellbent on making us feel like we’re wrong or not enough. But precisely because of this society, cultivating self-love can be difficult." — Shannon Weber
Be a better friend to yourself: Treat yourself with the same tenderness, care, and gentleness you would offer someone you deeply love.
Give yourself permission to receive your own compassion: You are deserving of warmth. Try repeating the mantra: "I am worthy of my own compassion." (What might your personal mantra be?)
Follow what your heart wants: Honour your true needs, even when—and especially when—it means going against the grain.
Nourish your body intentionally: Listen to what brings your physical self comfort and joy. Is it eight hours of sleep? A warm bath? Soft fabrics? Kitchen dance parties?
Ask for help: We are built for connection. Reaching out for support is a profound act of courage and strength, not weakness.
Remember your connection to the universe: You are a physical manifestation of the cosmos—made of the exact same stardust and molecules as the night sky.
Let your future self guide you: Imagine the version of yourself you are growing into. How do they feel? What choices would they make today?
Interrogate negative self-talk: When self-criticism creeps back in, ask: Where did this voice come from? When did it start? Whose standard is it trying to enforce? Connect with someone who can lend you their compassionate voice when you struggle to find your own.
Embrace non-linear healing: Self-love ebbs and flows. Some days it feels effortless; other days it feels like uphill work. Give yourself grace through every season.
Acknowledge self-love as resistance: Remind yourself that choosing to care for your body and spirit in a world that profits off your self-doubt is a revolutionary act.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating behaviors, please know that support is available:
The Looking Glass Foundation for Eating Disorders: A non-profit organization providing accessible support services to community members at any stage of their journey. Learn more at Looking Glass Foundation.
Connect with Support: If you are interested in exploring therapy, feel free to reach out to me directly. If we aren't the right fit, I will gladly help connect you with a practitioner who is.
With love,
Chantelle
Resources
Bell, K., Riegner E. & Hirshch, J. (2019). Eating Disorder Symptoms and Proneness in Gay Men, Lesbian Women, and Transgender and Gender Non-conforming Adults: Comparative Levels and a Proposed Mediational Model. Frontiers in Psychology. Doi 10.3389/fpsyg.2018.026962
Corcoine, A. (2021), How Eating disorders impact queer and Trans People https://lgbtq.includedhealth.com/blog/lgbtq/how-eating-disorders-impact-queer-and-trans-people/
FedUp (2023) – Fighting Eating Disorders in Underrepresented Populations: A trans+ & Intersex collectivehttps://fedupcollective.org
Myhill, J. (2022). Eating Disorders and Gender Affirming Care: Clinical Considerations for Trans, Non-Binary and Gender Diverse Clients. Queering Mental Health Conference 2022
Parker, L & Harriger, J (2020). Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating Behaviors in the LGBT Population: A Review of the Literature. Journal of Eating Disorders (2020) 8:51. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-020-00327-y
Pink News (2019). Eating Disoders in the LGBTQ Community – Coming out Twice Documentary. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHZzEPsIuDk
Shannon Weber (2019). Self-Love Isn’t Easy: 10 Difficult Things I Do to Practice Radical Self Love. https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/self-love-isnt-easy-10-difficult-things-i-do-to-practice-radical-self-love/
Statista (2023). Consumer Market Insights – Beauty and Personal Care - Worldwide https://www.statista.com/outlook/cmo/beauty-personal-care/worldwide
Vaughn Darst – TEDxUSC (2019). In a World That is Wrong About Us -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ31Vc8wtHc
