Human First, Therapist Second
““You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, and the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, breath of the fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner.
You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and the colors fill your mind until there is nothing left to do but explode. There are no wrong answers. Inspiration is everything. Sit back, relax, and take it all in.” — Jac Vanek
Traditionally, in Western psychotherapy, therapists have been encouraged to keep the self out of the room and focus only on the “patient.” This shows up in language: the patient and the therapist. It shows up in physical positioning: across from one another, one person armed with a clipboard. It shows up in the ways practitioners talk about their clients under diagnostic labels and clinical language. And if the client questions it, they are often seen as deflecting, digressing, projecting, or avoiding.
There was an assumption that something was "wrong with" the patient, but the therapist knew how to excavate or “fix” it. This manifests in saviorism, enlightenment language, medicalization, and rigid hierarchical structures. Us and them. Us (the therapists) being the all-knowing experts who have it all together and hold all the answers.
However, pretending I have it all together—or that I don’t struggle with the same things others do—only adds to the pressures of perfectionism rampant in our culture. I am not perfect. I am human.
Asking me to keep myself separate from my practice is like asking me to hold my breath while I'm running. I can't do it for long.
(Mindfully, I hold boundaries around this. I share my own story only when it serves as a bridge—offering clear therapeutic value and resonance for your journey.)
I am a combination of my life experiences and the things that I’ve studied. I am my values and my biases. I am my parents' daughter. I am the descendant of my ancestors. I am a combination of all that I’ve loved. I am the jobs that I’ve had, the books that I’ve read, and the festivals that I’ve been to. I am the land that I grew up on.
And so are you.
When we work together, we both bring all of these elements into the room. Sometimes, a beautiful transformation happens when all these factors combine and we share in moments of true connection and healing. Some of these connections last a short while; others last years. All of them stay with me for a lifetime.
When you come to see me, I will welcome all of you, and I will share parts of me with you. When you return to the world, I will encourage you to bring all of yourself with you, help you explore what pieces can be left behind, and invite you to carry pieces of our work together with you.
With love,
Chantelle
